maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
