Just fell off a train. Bad.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
