Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
