My first STD was from a foam party
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
