Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
