he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
