mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
