Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
