I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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