She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
