your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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