he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
