There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
