Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm just crazy horny about you
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
