So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Found the puke drawer
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize