My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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