The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
And my parents said I crawled through the house
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
