(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
