she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
