toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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