just tell him i said nine months
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
