We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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