Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
