well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Did we literally take a cab across the street
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
