after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
