Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
