I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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