I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
