Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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