Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize