you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
