very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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