why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
