We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
