its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
how does that bad decision feel?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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