speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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