I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
This house was built for laser tag.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize