yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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