We're facebook friends in real life
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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