If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
