who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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