ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Someone signed my nipple.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
