I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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