That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
