Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
