they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
