Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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