You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Randomize
