Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize