is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
