Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
