Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
