why didn't you poke me back
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
