i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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