I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
