I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
