You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
